Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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