My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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