she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
