4 words: hood of his car
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
