I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Randomize
