in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
