I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Did we literally take a cab across the street
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
