Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
