I bet he comes in French.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
