How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
