I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
