k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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