they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
