i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
