what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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