I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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