I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
