no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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