It's like God shit irony all over that family
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
