My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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