You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize