she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
