Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Is it because I queefed?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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