I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
