my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
