is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
