It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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