No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
