what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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