Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
