Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
