Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
