my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
