If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
