chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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