I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
