just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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