sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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