Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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