it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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