My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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