Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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