And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
