when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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