What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
