I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
3pm strippers are depressing
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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