Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Vodka?
Forever.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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