If i come over, it means nothing
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
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