that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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