wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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