I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
