brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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