marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
