Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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