Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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