my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
