I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
