I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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