i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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