I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
They took my balls.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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