C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
