He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize